辛达雅思代报考位 :直到2016年10月28日上午雅思官网没有释放考位,在此提醒广大考生抓紧时间报名,注意自己的考试时间,如对雅思报名有任何疑问,欢迎咨询在线客服。
很多学生在霸占了词汇语法以及审题难关后,雅思写作仍是5-5.5分,很大一部分因素是因为“Coherence and Cohesion(联接和连接)”的把握欠佳。花了很多的时刻去回忆类似于consequently, admittedly的关联词,恨不能每一句前面都加一个自个觉得适宜的连接词。辛达雅思代报指出这种做法并不契合评分标准,会被界说为过度运用联接成分,适宜的运用方法应该是这么的:
剑桥雅思真题9的一篇考官范文,一起来看看 “连接和联接”的运用。
标题:Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health in the general
population, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrying trend.
经过代词this的运用使得“景象”与大众对景象的观念发生了联接,明晰简洁,不留痕迹做到了评分原则中的“uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention”
One possible solution is to provide more sports facilities to encourage a more
lifestyle.
经过 “one possible”写出了后文还会说到说到别的的处理计划,然后表现了后文在分段和内容上与总观念的对应,即评分原则中的”skilfully manages paragraphing“
Advocates of this believe that today’s sedentary lifestyle and stressful working
经过this的运用把主体段与“首段”严密联络起来
conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either our work or our
leisure time. If there were easy-to-reach local sports centres, we would be more
经过关于要害字的润饰进一步证明了观点中触及的要害重心内容,表现了内容的深化,论据与观念的联接(即增多“sports facilities”的第一个因素:需要让大众更便利做运动)
likely to make exercise a regular part of our lives, rather than just collapsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered would
效果同上“经过关于要害字的润饰进一步证明了观点中触及的要害重心内容,表现了内容的深化,论据与观念的联接”(即增多“sports facilities”的第二个因素:需要满意更多人的需要),两个因素之间并没有僵硬的运用“Firstly, Secondly”
cater for all ages, levels of fitness and interests: those with painful memories of PE at school might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch.
However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem. Interest in sport is
经过代词”this ”的运用,是的此段观念与标题相联络(即在此段会写出“other possible ways”),而且与上一段构成并排关系
not universal, and additional facilities might simply attract the already fit, not
those who most need them. Physical activity could be encouraged relatively
cheaply, for example by installing exercise equipment in parks, as my local council has done. This has the added benefit that parents and children often use them
“This”替代前面的办法,前后句之间因而发生严密联络
together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.
“which”替代前面所描述的“增加equipment”的直接影响,使主句和从句,直接影响和间接影响发生联络
As well as physical activity, high tax penalties could be imposed on high-fat food
products, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption of any of these
(普通连接词“as”后接因素) (“these”代词的运用加强主从句之间的联络)
contributes to poor health. Even improving public transport would help: it takes
longer to walk to the bus stop than to the car.
In my opinion, focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would
not have the desired results. People should be encouraged not only to be more
physically active but also to adopt a healthier lifestyle in general.
经过以上的分析可以看出,考官是很少运用显着僵硬的连接词的,而是经过紧扣观点的论据分类,代词的精确使用以及观点与分观点的内容照应到达“不留痕迹,分段得当”的状况的。同学们要做到“连接与联接”的完美展示,辛达雅思代报主张大家把握 “代词”的灵敏使用和内容的互相联络才是真理。
☆转载声明: 各位同行和网友们,欢迎转载或引用在本站的文章,敬请标注原文出自辛达托福代报网!
其他文章推荐
辛达代报名网站编辑部